Wicked
Icy
Nasty
Torturous
Evil
Raw

Posted by Melly in Writings | 4 Comments »

Today I made $250 at my Mum’s garage sale.

Tonight I put $5 in the pokies and came out with $25.

I have been needing/wanting to purchase the following items:

* Parka/coat
* Brassieres
* Gloves
* Hair cut
* Purple sneakers
* Vaccination & worming for Darcy

And now I can.

Woohoo!

Posted by Melly in Daily Life | 4 Comments »

Spent a large portion of the day moving boxes, whitegoods and appliances, and cleaning said whitegoods & appliances and their surrounds. No - we are not moving. But my mother is.

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Posted by Melly in Daily Life | 2 Comments »

Occasionally, when people discover I’m not studying or raising children or in paid employment outside the home, I get asked - “So what do you do all day?” I answer “Clean house, look after animals and my husband, read, exercise, etc etc”. And then people wonder how on earth these types of activities could fill my day.

So today I decided to keep a running log of exactly what I did. Minus the things you really don’t need to know, like how many times I went to the toilet. And if you do feel you need to know that - you’re sick!

The purpose of this is so next time somebody asks me what I do all day, instead of having to “explain”, I’ll just direct them to this post.

Background information: I didn’t fall asleep until about 12:30am this morning, as Gypsie was busy outside our bedroom window chasing a bug. So today I was tired. And please also note: Gypsie is not a bad dog like she may seem after reading this. She just has a very new and annoying habit of barking at our neighbour early in the morning, which we are attempting to rectify. She is otherwise a very obedient and loving doggie!

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Posted by Melly in Daily Life | 4 Comments »

If you swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?

Can you put a gay man in a straight-jacket?

Do they have security cameras at Christian bookstores?

Why do bullies always ask “What’s your problem?” when they’re obviously not going to solve it?

When people say “I’m so tired it’s not funny” or “My head hurts so much it’s not even funny”, why would it even be funny in the first place?

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never even use it?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service, would they have to change their name to Knockers?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space - over the limit?

Are children who act in R-rated movies allowed to see them?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear, do they say “Pardon my English”?

Are the good things that come to those who wait just the leftovers from the people who get there first?

If the SWAT team breaks down your door, do they have to replace it later?

Why is “Cute as a button” supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Are marbles made of marble?

If you pay for a holiday and your plane crashes on the way there and you live, do you get a refund?

Why don’t the hairs on our body get split ends?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “mother in law” you get “woman hitler”?

What happens if you put the “This Side Up” face-down when popping microwave popcorn?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If cutlery were made of gold, would it still be considered silverware?

If heat rises, then shouldn’t hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it were meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Do they have women’s toilets in gay men’s bars?

Why is vanilla ice-cream white when vanilla essence is brown?

Why can’t you get a tan on your palms?

Why do companies offer you “Free Gifts”? Since when is a gift NOT free?

If something “goes without saying” or is “needless to say”, why do people still say it?

If an atheist goes to court, does he have to swear on the Bible?

Posted by Melly in Humour | 1 Comment »