The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
—-
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle is closer.
—-
There’s no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don’t tell you where.
—-
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
—-
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation:
One star; service: none.
—-
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow is taken.
—-
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I’ve lost interest.
—-
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
—-
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
—-
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
—-
My affection is conditional.
Don’t stand up,
It’s your lap I love.
—-
Cats can’t steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail’s
Pulled again, I’ll learn.
—-
I don’t mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
—-
So you call this thing
Your “cat carrier.” I call
These my “blades of death.”
—-
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I’m convinced:
You’re an idiot.

Posted by Melly in Humour, Writings, Animal Crackers | 3 Comments »

To celebrate Australia Day I give you:

Australiana by Austen Tayshus (with translations for you foreigners)

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Posted by Melly in Humour | 2 Comments »

It weighs 1kg and he keeps it in the fridge and whenever he wants some he gets it out and cuts a chunk off.

Posted by Melly in Love, Food Glorious Food | 2 Comments »

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you’re plain - and you’re cool with that. You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness. Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you. And in a pinch, you’ll probably get eaten.

Posted by Melly in Quizzes | 3 Comments »

And it’s so so so true.

Works best if you right click and save, then play.

Posted by Melly in Soapbox | 1 Comment »

Photos of our Christmas presents!
(You’ll have to scroll down because I’m too lazy to resize the pics)

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Posted by Melly in Daily Life | 5 Comments »

Happy New Year!

We had a party last night with a bbq and nibblies and music and a game of Battle of The Sexes. I had three drinks, well over my usual two drink limit, so I was rather happy and fell asleep on the couch not long after midnight. Woke up a couple of hours later to find the last of the guests had gone and my wonderful husband had nearly finished the cleaning up. Did I pick a winner or what?

Do any of you have resolutions? I don’t, but there are a few things I want to TRY to do:

1. Practice driving to regain my confidence behind the wheel

2. Get nothing less than a Distinction in my uni subjects

3. Be a better correspondent

4. Save money

5. Get up the duff!

Posted by Melly in Daily Life | 6 Comments »