To catch up with Melly or see pictures of Josiah (who is now almost 9 months old!), feel free to add Mellissa Doyle to your Facebook.

My medication is being increased because the days I don’t cope well are unfortunately becoming more regular, and I’ve also started to have days when I cannot cope at all. Those aren’t so bad when they fall on a weekend and Josh is home, but when they happen during the week, like today, Josh has to stay home from work and that’s not good.

I stayed in bed until 2:30pm today. I got up once to go to the toilet around 8am and the rest of the time either cried or slept or just lay there with my eyes closed and the covers pulled up around my ears. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, couldn’t bear to talk. I’m feeling so-so now, and feel like I will be okay tomorrow.

After the doctor, we dropped Josiah off at my Mum’s and went to K-Mart Plaza. We had to get groceries, but since we were there I decided to brave the K-Mart Toy Sale to get a couple of things for Josiah. I was pleasantly surprised that, despite it being Thursday night, the toy aisles were relatively empty! We got Josiah a Fisher Price Little People Noah’s Ark to put away for him for Christmas. I had wanted the Nativity Scene but they didn’t have any left. We also got him some Fisher Price Stacking Activity Blocks, which are for him to play with now. I honestly think that’s the first toy we’ve actually bought for him ourselves. Everything else has either been given to him or passed down to him.

Josh got a second copy each of World of Warcraft and the expansion pack to put on his computer/s so he can play two characters at the same time. Geek.

We got the groceries, then went to pick up Josiah, who had as always been a little angel at his Mama’s. He ate, napped, played and chatted with her. Came home, put things away, Josh fed the boy and I put him to bed. It was past 8pm by that stage, and his bedtime is 7pm, but he was surprisingly un-cranky, I think because of the catnap at Mama’s. I had a very serious discussion with him before I put him in his cot, telling him just how much I love him, and that even on the days I can’t get out of bed to look after him, I still love him, and I never want him to doubt or forget that. And I truly hope he never does, all the days of his life.

I made hot dogs for dinner. I had two. Josh is currently about to begin his fourth. Once I’ve washed bottles and tidied up the kitchen, I’m going to bed and will pray that tomorrow is a much better day.

It has to be. There is a Twix in the cupboard with my name on it. Chocolate makes everything better.